Pastor Shane Ham : Finding Inner Strength to Deal with Difficult People

Always in Season · 42:16 · Recorded November 11, 2018

Finding Inner Strength to Deal with Difficult People

Galatians 5:22-23 (CSB) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Matthew 23:25-27 (NIV) “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like white-washed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.”

Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV) …Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Where patience is usually needed most:


Psalm 31:15 (NIV) My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me.


James 1:2-4 (NCV) My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do.


Proverbs 19:11 (NIV) A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.


How kindness is developed:

1. Seek to be more sensitive to others.

Romans 12:15-16 (BBE) Take part in the joy of those who are glad, and in the grief of those who are sorrowing. Be in harmony with one another.

Kindness is knowing what is needed.

2. Decide to be supportive of others.

Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Kindness means doing what’s required.

Isaiah 1:15-17 (NIV) When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

3. Remember to be responsive to your impressions.

Galatians 6:10 (NIV) Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Kindness means giving beyond what’s expected.

4. Always be proactive in your attitude.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 (NIV) …be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

Luke 6:35 (NIV) But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Kindness means going beyond what’s returned!

– In your small group, discuss Matthew 23:25-28. Give examples of what this looks like in our lives today. Identify an area you may have “whitewashed” but you know you need to deal with. Ask your group to pray for you as you submit this area of your life to God.

– Of the four areas where patience is needed most, which is most difficult for you? What specific steps will you take this week to strengthen yourself in that area?

– Is the fruit of kindness evident in your life? Using the four descriptive sub-points as a guide, think through specific situations over the past couple of weeks where you have or have not displayed kindness as described. Make a plan of how you’ll act or react differently when you are next faced with a similar situation.

– Which of the scriptures from this message has spoken to you most powerfully? What specific encouragement will be your take-away from them?

– Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and Galatians 5:22-23. Which of the nine characteristics of the fruit (Galatians) are found in the description of love (1 Corinthians)? Spend time in prayer earnestly asking God to grow his love of others in you and that his beautiful fruit will be evident for others to see in your daily life.

– Elementary parents, we are continuing to learn about generosity this week. We saw the story of a widow woman who showed great generosity. Ask kids what she gave and to whom. (She showed love in action when she gave her last loaf of bread to Elijah.) This was a very big deal. She truly had no idea if or when there would be a next meal. Our bottom line this week is *God wants you to help others*. See your child’s handout for more information about today’s lesson.

  • Who You Say I Am

  • Found In You

  • God I Look To You

  • Everything And Nothing Less

  • For The One

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