Pastor Ronnie McDougall : Respecting the Boundaries of Others

Boundaries 2019 · 41:22 · Recorded November 3, 2019

Respecting the Boundaries of Others

Psalm 139:14-16 (NLT) Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Why should I respect another’s boundaries?

1. Because what’s important to me isn’t necessarily the most important.

John 2:1-5 (NLT) The next day there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration. The wine supply ran out during the festivities, so Jesus’ mother told him, “They have no more wine.” “Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” But his mother told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

2. Because the other person has a life beyond me.

John 21:20-22 (NLT) Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved—the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, “Lord, who will betray you?” Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

3. Because my pain isn’t the only pain there is.

John 8:8-11 (NLT) Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Why is this so important?

You will be less disappointed.

Matthew 11:1-4 (NLT) When Jesus had finished giving these instructions to his twelve disciples, he went out to teach and preach in towns throughout the region. John the Baptist, who was in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?” Jesus told them, “Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen…”

You will be an emotionally safe person.

Luke 6:31 (NLT) Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

You will have less stress.

Psalm 119: 1-2 (NLT) Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts.

  • Can you recall a time when someone crashed through one of your boundaries? How did that make you feel? Did you perceive that it was intentional (lack of respect for you) or were they oblivious to the boundary? How did you react? Flip that scenario – when did you push through someone else’s boundary? When did you realize you’d done it? How did you feel? What did you do to “fix” it?

  • James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Do you find any of these three challenging? When it comes to boundaries in your relationships, how might starting with the other person’s needs lead to a healthier dialogue?

  • Read John 13:34. When people are hurt, offended, or afraid, they often make bad or unwise choices. What can help you remember to start from a position of love when resolving conflict with those who have violated your boundaries?

  • Why would God want us to avoid being manipulated by others, and not let other people control us? What examples did Jesus provide regarding this?

  • When we live within the good boundaries that God provides, we live healthier and fuller lives. Look over the three points at the end of the notes with your small group. Share how you see, feel, or experience each of these when you love others by respecting their boundaries.

  • Elementary parents, today we started a new series focusing on cooperation. We defined cooperation as “Working together to make it better.” God designed each of us with a unique set of things we are good at – we call these gifts and abilities. We weren’t given these to use solely for our own benefit. God wants you and me to use our gifts and work together to help other people around us. Our bottom-line today is: God made us to work together.

  • Mighty Warrior

  • This I Believe

  • Thank You Song

  • Jesus I Need You

  • Build My Life

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