Pastor Shane Ham : Saying Yes, Saying No

Boundaries 2019 · 47:37 · Recorded October 27, 2019

Saying Yes, Saying No

“Being clear about my zones of responsibility and freedom in living.”

Boundary problems may show up clinically, relationally, or professionally.

Genesis 1:28 (MSG) God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”

Matthew 15:22-24 (BBE) And a woman of Canaan came out from those parts, crying and saying, Have pity on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is greatly troubled with an unclean spirit. But he gave her no answer. And his disciples came and said to him, Send her away, for she is crying after us. But he made answer and said, I was sent only to the wandering sheep of the house of Israel.

Deuteronomy 30:15-18 (NLT2) “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. For I command you this day to love the LORD your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the LORD your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy. But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, and if you are drawn away to serve and worship other gods, then I warn you now that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live a long, good life in the land you are crossing the Jordan to occupy.”

John 15:8 (NIV) “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

When to say yes:

1. Whenever you’re doing it, you sense God’s pleasure.

2. It furthers God’s universal purposes.

Proverbs 11:28 (MSG) A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.

3. It aligns with God’s moral character.

Matthew 6:12 (NMB) And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.

Ephesians 2:1 (NRSV) You were dead through the trespasses and sins.

Judges 17:6 (NLT2) In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.

Deuteronomy 12:8 (TLB) “You will no longer go your own way as you do now, everyone doing whatever he thinks is right.”

Isaiah 53:6 (NIV) We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

4. It best fulfills my unique SHAPE.

Psalm 139:14-16 (NLT2) Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

5. In eternity, you’ll look back and say, “I’m glad I said yes!”

Where to begin:

1. Pay attention to the “alarms” inside of you.

Proverbs 14:10 (CSB) The heart knows its own bitterness, and no outsider shares in its joy.

2. Pay attention to the “indicators” outside of you.

What trusted advisors are saying.

Proverbs 19:20 (MSG) Take good counsel and accept correction— that’s the way to live wisely and well.

What external circumstances are showing.

3. Ask God!

Psalm 139:23-24 (NJB) God, examine me and know my heart, test me and know my concerns. Make sure that I am not on my way to ruin, and guide me on the road of eternity.

  • How do boundary problems show up most often in your life? Spend time with God asking him to reveal any boundary issues that are resulting from the categories Pastor Shane described in the first point. Ask God to help you put healthy boundaries in place and stick to them. Talk this through with a trusted advisor for encouragement and accountability.

  • When you’ve been operating inside of an appropriate boundary, how have you sensed God’s pleasure? How can that help you define good boundaries moving forward?

  • Share with your group a time when you said yes to something that was clearly outside your SHAPE. How did it feel? What did you discover? Did that experience help you to be able to correctly say no to something else?

  • When a fire alarm goes off, we know exactly what to do – move quickly but safely to the nearest exit without stopping for purses or belongings, and help others do the same. What do you do when an internal alarm goes off inside of you? Do you recognize it clearly for what it is? Do you quickly remove yourself from an improper situation? Do you identify that you’ve been trying to justify a “yes” that the alarm is telling you should have been a “no”? Share with your group what alarms are like for you and how you recognize them. Talk through an action plan for when an alarm goes off.

  • Elementary parents, today our bottom line was love like Jesus. One of the ways we can do this is by serving others. Jesus came as God in the flesh, not to be served but to serve others. Ask kids who wanted to be seen as leaders by sitting next to Jesus. (James and John) So much of the Kingdom of God is backwards of what we expect and becoming a leader is no exception. Jesus said if we want to be a leader, we must serve others! We are all asked to serve and love others because Jesus served and loves us.

  • Love So Great

  • Living Hope

  • What A Beautiful Name

  • Build My Life

  • Yes I Will

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