Pastor Steve Williams : Don’t Ruin Your Kids with Entitlement

Reality Check · 43:36 · Recorded November 19, 2017

Don’t Ruin Kids With Entitlement

Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

1. Be an example worth following.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 (NIV) “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

2. Embrace God’s purpose for discipline.

Proverbs 19:18 (NCV) Correct your children while there is still hope; do not let them destroy themselves.

Proverbs 14:12 (NRSV) There is a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death.

Build on the power of consistency & structure.

Bring warmth along with strength.

Connect reality to behavior choices.

Balance the future with the present.

Hebrews 12:7, 11 (NIV) Endure hardship as discipline…No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it pro-dues a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

3. Be careful not to abuse your use of praise.

Proverbs 29:5 (NCV) Those who give false praise to their neighbors are setting a trap for them.

Praising what takes no ability or effort.

Praise for what’s already required.

Luke 17:10 (NIV) “So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

Praising with over-the-top gushing.

Praise that’s not anchored in reality.

Proverbs 27:21 (NET) As the crucible is for silver and the furnace is for gold, so a person is proved by the praise he receives.

4. Coach them in how to fail successfully.

Proverbs 14:26 (TEV) Reverence for the LORD gives confidence and security to a man and his family.

5. Point them to a life bigger than themselves.

Luke 17:33 (NLT) “If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.”

  • How have your eyes been opened to see entitlement differently in the last few weeks?

  • Share your reaction to the maxim, “The child is the father of the man.”

  • Read Hebrews 12:5-11. How have your ideas about “discipline” changed since your growing up years? What stood out to you most from this message regarding discipline and children?

  • What area of your life can you most clearly see would be better today had you not “resisted reality” in the past? What idea or scripture do you find encouraging to not be resisting reality on issues right now in your life?

  • Proverbs 14:26 (TEV) Reverence for the LORD gives confidence and security to a man and his family. How does knowing the Lord bring confidence and security to you and your family?

  • What’s the most confusing or difficult truth to apply that this message touched on for you? How can others encourage you or support you in this best?

  • What a wonderful week for elementary students to learn that God is a God who loves for us to celebrate! They learned about three celebrations that God instructed the Israelites to hold each year as a way of taking time to remember all he had done for them. Ask your kids about these celebrations. Our bottom line for this week is thank God for what he has done. As a way to get the celebration started in your family, look up our memory verse for the month which is found in 1 Chronicles 16:34, then give him thanks!

Great parenting reads:

Boundaries With Kids. When to say “yes” and when to say “no” to help your children gain control of their lives, Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, Kevin Leman

Cleared for Takeoff. 50 ways parents can help their teenagers grow up and into lives of their own, Wayne Rice

Relief for Hurting Parents. What to do and how to think when you’re having trouble with your kids, Buddy Scott

  • The One We Love

  • Let Every Heart

  • Thank You Jesus

  • Have It All

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  • New Creation

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