Pastor Shane Ham and Pastor Travis Patzkowsky : Boundaries and Our Kids

series · 43:02 · Recorded November 24, 2019

Boundaries & Our Kids

Why boundaries for kids?

Kids need limits.

Proverbs 3:11 (BBE) My son, do not make your heart hard against the Lord’s teaching; do not be made angry by his training.

Hebrews 12:5-7 (TLB) And have you quite forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, his child? He said, "My son…don’t be discouraged when he has to show you where you are wrong…it proves that he loves you. When he whips you, it proves you are really his child." Let God train you, for he is doing what any loving father does for his children. Whoever heard of a son who was never corrected?

Boundaries teach responsibility.

Boundaries develop character.

Their future is now!

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Make a lasting impression

1. Make your own growth a priority.

1 Peter 2:2 (NLT) Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation.

Matthew 7:3 (NLT) And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?

2. Parent with the end in mind.

What that looks like:


1 John 4:7 (NIV) “Let us love one another, for love comes from God.”


Luke 16:10, 12 (NCV) “Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot…If you cannot be trusted with things that belong to someone else, who will give you things of your own?”


Luke 2:52 (NLT) Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people.


Zechariah 8:16a (NLT) But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other.


Matthew 22:37 (NLT) “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.”

3. Aim for balance when kids cross the line.

Luke 15:11–13, 20-24 (NLT) To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living… So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’ But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.”

Questions to consider:

Are you reacting to everything?

Whose problem is this?

Are you emotionally prepared to handle this right now?

Do I need boundaries to protect me or the rest of the family?

Is this a teachable moment?

Have you considered the context?

4. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 2:2 (MSG) Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God – he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.

  • If you don’t have children, what is your responsibility to the children in your life, such as nieces and nephews, neighbors, or the children of friends?

  • As an adult, which of the five qualities listed in point #2 do you find yourself struggling with the most? What do you need to do to grow and effectively model it for kids? How can your small group help you and pray for you in this area?

  • In point #3, Pastor Travis gave you six questions to consider. What question do you find the most helpful? Why?

  • What’s the difference between what you trust your kids with and what you were trusted with at their age?

  • What is the greatest insight you have learned today and why? Share it with the group.

  • The final point was, you need to “keep your eyes on Jesus”. Are you? Is there something that needs to change? Take a moment and ask Jesus to be the focus of your life. If you are meeting with others, take a moment and pray for one another, that Jesus would remain in his proper place as the center of your life.

  • Elementary parents, today we wrapped up our series on Cooperation – working together to make it better. All month long we have learned ways that we can live and love others better when we find ways to cooperate. Today we taught kids that they are not alone as they learn to live in cooperation. We looked at the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) to find how God’s Spirit within us can help us make a difference.

  • Love So Great

  • Thank You Song

  • Won't Stop Now

  • This I Believe

  • Goodness Of God

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