Family – Making It A “Great” Fight!

Nehemiah 4:13-14 (NIV) Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."

What makes a great family?

1. Great families are playful!

Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NLT2) So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.

1 Timothy 6:17 (NIV) Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

Ecclesiastes 11:9-10 (NASB) Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things. So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting.

People will not remember what you say but they will remember how you made them feel.

Ephesians 5:25 (GW) Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

Psalm 127:3-5 (NCV) Children are a gift from the Lord; babies are a reward. Children who are born to a young man are like arrows in the hand of a warrior. Happy is the man who has his bag full of arrows. They will not be defeated when they fight their enemies at the city gate.

2. Great families encourage growth.

Luke 2:52 (NIV) And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

How to deal with feelings.

How to handle conflict. 

How to handle loss.

Proverbs 24:16 (GW) A righteous person may fall seven times, but he gets up again.

What values matter the most.

What habits need to be developed.

John 13:14 (NLT2) And since I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NLT2) And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

Ephesians 6:4 (TLB) And now a word to you parents. Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and Godly advice.

3. Great families protect each other.

Matthew 5:45 (NLT2) For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.

Psalm 71:9 (NLT2) And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside. Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing.

4. Great families serve God and others.

Hebrews 10:24 (MSG) Let’s see how inventive we can be in encourageing love and helping out.

Acts 10:1-2 (NIV) At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian regiment. He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.

1 Corinthians 16:1-2, 13-18 (NIV) Now about the collection for God’s people: do what I told the Galatian churches to do. On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income… Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. You know that the household of Stephanas were the first converts in Achaia, and they have devoted themselves to the service of the saints. I urge you, brothers, to submit to such as these and to everyone who joins in the work, and labors at it. I was glad when Stephanas, Fortunatus and Achaicus arrived, because they have supplied what was lacking from you. For they refreshed my spirit and yours also. Such men deserve recognition.

Joshua 24:15 (NIV) “…choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Talk It Over

• What are some of the forces that have worked against your family? What did you do to intentionally fight against them?

• Pastor Shane said, “If you’re too busy to enjoy life, then you’re too busy.” How does that statement fit with your current situation? Is there plenty of fun built into your schedule? Are you playful enough to be spontaneous? What changes could you make to bring more fun and joy into your life and the life of your family?

• Under point #2, Shane made the comparison of becoming like a skunk or a turtle if you don’t learn how to deal with your emotions effectively. Share with your group where you think you fall between these two. Are you pretty much on one side or the other? Right in the middle? Talk about where you can grow in how you handle conflict and turn it over to God in prayer.

• What kind of legacy is your family writing? Would you like to see it change? Deepen? Call a family meeting and talk about it together. Go over these points and get input. Then work together with intentionality to fight to make your family “great” in every way!

• What does Joshua’s statement, “as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord,” say to you about your role in the spiritual life of your family? How do you feel about that role and about your influence in the spiritual health of your family?

• Parents: Take a look at Joshua 24:15 together with your children. Talk about what it means to ‘choose’ to serve the Lord and how you’ll work together as a family to do that. Ask your kids to help define what that looks like. Share ideas together like going to church, having family prayer time, finding ways to serve each other, and more. Put the list somewhere everyone can see it and refer back to it as a commitment you made to God and each other.